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Review

In her new book, Help for Billy, Heather Forbes provides with deep insight a manual for parents and teachers addressing essential methods for managing the school-room behavior of the child with complex trauma. She presents the essential concept of regulatory rather than behavioral dysfunction in the disruptive child, and provides a wealth of strategies for both the parent and teacher to apply to help the child to self-regulate. This groundbreaking book should be required reading for both. --Robert Scaer, MD, Author, The Body Bears the Burden, The Trauma Spectrum, and Eight Keys to Brain-Body BalanceHelp for Billy brings a compassionate voice to the thousands of children who attend every school in America who have been impacted by trauma, and the significant disadvantage that stress has on brain development. Heather clearly lays out the brain research and shows that we are trying to force round pegs into square holes. --Jim Sporleder, Principal at Lincoln High School, Walla Walla, WashingtonHelp for Billy is a must read for anyone looking to understand, support, and teach challenging and easily frustrated children. Heather writes with knowledge of a professional and the heart of a parent. --Jenniffer Adkins, Parent to a traumatized child

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Product details

Paperback: 209 pages

Publisher: Beyond Consequences Institute, LLC; 1st edition (December 20, 2012)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0977704092

ISBN-13: 978-0977704095

Package Dimensions:

8.9 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches

Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.7 out of 5 stars

103 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#6,602 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

I was so excited to read this but it left me feeling quite disappointed. This book may be applicable to some teachers who have one child in their class who has experienced trauma or for those that have little or no previous knowledge of trauma but that is about it. I have four main gripes with this book. The first one hit me almost immediately and continued to bash my brain throughout. She uses overwhelm as a noun and it drives me crazy. I thought it was incorrect but checked the dictionary just in case I was wrong. Nope, overwhelm is a verb. How did it get by the editors? The second issue is that this book may be applicable to teachers who have one child who has experienced trauma and work in a nice school in the suburbs, but the strategies suggested are impractical, if not impossible for a class/school where a large majority of the children have high ACE scores. The third problem is that the author speaks about the parents as if they are helpful and knowledgeable. Perhaps this is true for parents of children that experienced acute trauma or for foster/adoptive parents, but the parents of my students are the ones who inflicted the trauma. The final beef I have is that she makes her solutions sound so easy. Sure, just build a relationship with the children and they will be fixed. Creating relationships is a very long process, especially with a class of Billys.If anyone has recommendations for other books that could help, please share.

Just ok for our specific situation. While we are able to apply many of the "Beyond Consequences" strategies at home, I struggled to apply the examples and specifics of this book to our children, ages 13 and 14. I felt this book was aimed at much younger children with fairly high behaviors. For our middle school and main streamed children, I felt many of the suggestions weren't realistic/applicable. Mix in the pressures of trying to fit in with your peers in middle school and many or most of the "visible" suggestions (having a student pace in the back of the class) are just not going to be taken seriously by our teens. I was also disappointed that such a small portion of the book focused on the IEP. With the language changes suggested to the IEP (altering the language to place less blame on the child), I felt the suggested language made the IEP more difficult to interpret. I think that is fine if you are writing the IEP with the child's one classroom teacher (like pre or elementary school). For us, our children have 7 instructors,none of whom are present during the writing process. Regardless of the "tone" of the IEP, I want them to quickly understand the behavior, the expected solution, etc. since they most likely aren't going to spend a bunch of time interpreting it.

by Heather ForbesIf you regularly interact with a child who has problems coping with consequences, and you are at your wit's end trying to "get them to behave" or "just do their homework", this is the book for you.The premise of Beyond Consequences is that there are some children who, for various reasons, do not have the coping mechanisms in place to handle adversity. This might be because of adoption, early trauma, long term illness, autism, or a host of other things.This unfortunately means that when they are presented with a problem, they do not respond to "traditional" methods of "If you don't do this, then x will happen." In fact, traditional methods of consequences and behavioral modification will actually often make the problem worse.Forbes introduces the idea that working with these children on a logical level will not work because they are farther away, in a primitive "fight or flight" mode almost all of the time. Her strategies focus on how to help these children calm down and learn how to feel safe in stressful situations, with a long term goal of them being able to learn the strategies and be more regulated on their own.I picked up this book on a friend's recommendation. She has a child who was constantly in trouble at school and could not handle regular life the way a child her age should be able to. Thankfully my friend found this resource and after 8 months has been able to change her daughter's entire life.This book is highly recommended for:Parents, teachers, or close family friends of children who are not coping well with normal life adversities because of earlier life "traumas". I will be recommending this to anyone and everyone.

Suggested read from RAD experts. Spot on for my children. Opened my eyes to things I had never known in 20 years of teaching. Using suggestions and strategies in my classroom is making a difference. Talk it through. Understand how child is feeling and what they are thinking. Only then can I begin to make a difference. As technology changes, so do the circumstances children are subjected to and great advances in understanding are available. It isn't always the cut & dry "it was your choice". This book helps make sense of how, where, when, why some children struggle. Knowledge, understanding, then empathy are key! I have seen the techniques in action and the results were astounding. Gives me some validation that I am doing OK as well. Getting additional copies for those who interact with my child frequently.

Excellent. For someone who has dealt with trauma personally and with many children, and is a teacher, I have the following things to say:1. This book is concise and to the point and not cumbersome or confusing.2. It's very practical and gives great examples and suggestions.3. It's on point with everything I know and have read about trauma and intervention.

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